You Wont Realize Until It Happens To You.

Just how Ben kept a life secret my uncle kept one as well. Robert Lynn Stalf, is the name of my uncle who passed away roughly year ago. His story goes somewhat like this. My uncle was an amazing guy. Had a wife and three children: Corbin, Kristin, and Cameron. He was honestly the most compassionate person you will ever meet. He would be that example when you said someone has a heart of gold. His every waking minute was dedicated to making sure that someone was being treated for the better. The entire family respected him to the fullest. A simple phone everyday would be the minimum he would do for you. I never met anyone like him. The story begins on a Wednesday evening. He decided he and his wife were going to go to the free concert held here at the park. His son Cameron had come along on his bike and rode to our house which is in the addition right next to the park. Uncle Robbie’s wife is the worst woman a person could even dream of marrying. She had been cheating on Robbie for quite some time but no one ever knew. As Ben keeps his secret in “Deadline” Robbie kept his from us. No one in the family would have ever guessed this was happening. As the evening progressed Diana his wife had been still talking to some other guy and never once introducing him to Robbie. He couldn’t take it anymore.  

            I didn’t mention earlier but my family and Robbie’s family have lake houses on Coldwater Lake in Michigan right down the street from each other and we would go up every weekend and spend endless evenings just chilling with family. It was ineffable. That night Robbie left the family and headed up to the lake alone. It didn’t seem abnormal at the time because he would always go up there periodically and just clean the place up and do whatever. But this time was different. The next day is when things changed drastically for our family. Uncle Robbie was missing. His boat had been found ashore our friends property across the lake. This is what they found: one of two anchors, Robbie’s diet Pepsi, cell phone, and his pack of cigarettes on the edge of the boat, and only half the boat uncovered. That’s when we suspected something terribly had happened. All I can remember is my mom’s voice in miserable sadness on the phone telling me to take my grandma (Robbie’s mom) home from visiting her neighbor in hospice. I had to carry my grandma in the car and drive that long car ride back to my house from New Haven. My uncle had been found tied to an anchor at the bottom of our lake where we always swam every weekend. It was three days after the occurrence that they actually found him. Our life will never be the same without him do to the fact of keeping “that” life secret that we as a family could’ve helped with. It’s as simple as that.

            I want to end by saying that hiding what’s going on in life doesn’t do you well. People need to know. Family and friends are there to help and make life better. If people are destroying your life and especially your family then things need to be done to help. No one would have ever expected this to happen to a person like my uncle. I can’t even fathom the idea of what happened still to this day. Writing this was tough but this book reminded me of the way things happened in my uncle’s life. Holding back and hiding a problem and letting it build up to an unbearable point that taking your life if necessary something is wrong. We as friends and family need to be able to identify these setbacks in our loved ones lives before things like this happen to you. Don’t hide and don’t cover up what hurts inside.